I Am

Who am I?

 I AM

Full stop.

My experience has taught me, I am. 

I have the sense that if I add anything after ‘I am’, I limit myself, I attach labels, narratives, judgements. I hang those labels, narratives and judgements on myself and then on others. Those labels, narratives and judgements separate me from others, I create otherness. My experience has shown me that creating otherness can hurt me and can hurt others. Otherness isolates me, so I stick with I am.

I am and I have experienced life from many different perspectives: as a daughter, a sibling, a mother, a wife, a friend, a cousin, a niece, an aunt, an employee, an employer, a business owner, a coach, a mentor, a guide, an outside observer, as a loner, as the brunt of jokes and ridicule, as a victim, a survivor, as a lover, as a fighter, as selfish, as generous, as a client, a patient, a customer, as frustrated, as angry, as grief-stricken, as joyous, as peaceful, as surrendered, as neutral, as a pet owner, as a homeowner, as a renter, as a landlord, as calm, as patient, as sober, as intoxicated, as hurt, as mourning, as rigid, as afraid, as terrified, as broken, as young, as old, as fit, as fat, as skinny, as ill, as healthy, as a failed perfectionist and so many more. 

‘I am’ is my constant in the ever-shifting experiences that are occurring in my life.

I train myself to be present, to embrace whatever life is offering me, to feel it, be in it and take what lessons I can. I train my mind to be flexible, open, and practice shifting my thoughts, beliefs and actions because change is constant. This is not what I learned growing up or in school, it is a perspective shift, a state of awareness, a state of being that feels purposeful. It is what I teach myself, what I practice, in order to live with greater ease.